I lie here on my bed tonight. Staring at the ceiling. A ceiling I cannot see what with the absence of light but I know it’s there. Just like this cliff I draw nearer to with the passage of each day. I know there shall be a plunge, a great gust of air and a sudden cessation of the same. In that spontaneous quiet I will stop suffering. That is all this was going to be, that is how this story ends. How naive was I to think of it being otherwise. I live, I suffer, my suffering being the cause of my family’s suffering. I see only one measure. Only one option. Only one road headed down towards a certain grave. I’ll just drive faster.

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